RIP OLEEN Sept 17,2009. 10.15pm

I can't really say much about how devastated I am with the lost.

I've grown to love Oleen ever since the first time I set my eyes on her.She was great, playful, an eating machine and definitely adorable.

She was weak and unlike her real self during her last days on earth.

Her death saddened me. It really got me there.

In the last couple of days, she didn't want to be kept in the cage(for monitoring purposes) because, according to Mama, cats will find another place other than home if they're dying. Oleen chose the narrow drain at the back of the house.

Sept 17,2009. 9.30 pm
It was raining cats and dogs since 6.30 p.m. We never knew where Oleen was. Then, Akak searched for Oleen and found her in the same drain, cold, soaking wet and so weak. Abah and Akak picked her up and I heard a shrieking sound that I will never forget; Oleen cried. Loudly. The sound was so disturbing, it made akak panicked and she quickly put Oleen down. I was shocked, I couldn't utter a word. I just watched her lying there in the rain. Then, I took a towel and wrapped her in it. The sound of her, crying, heavy breathing completely got me. I cried so hard watching her. Couldn't hold back the tears..The world cried too, for she's a lovable creature that God gave us even though it has not been 2 months. Abah put an umbrella to shade her from the rain and Ma asked me to put her in the box with a dry towel. I picked her up slowly and put her in the box. She was so tiny, all that's left were bones and skin and she was different. She looked different.

After a while, Ma asked me to bring her in because it was cold outside and I did exactly what she told me to do. Then, that same sound again. Oleen tried hard to get out of the box and out of the house in her weakest body. I quickly burst into tears again like crazy and tell her "No, Oleen, no" and let her outside again. This time, she had no strength to fight again.

I watched her gasping for air as she was trying to breathe. It was painful for me to watch, let alone for her to suffer like that. I couldn't stop crying and I can hardly watch her anymore. But at the same time, I wanted to be there with her. During her final moment with us. After a few minutes, I gave up. I couldn't watch. It's too devastating. Her cries, still stuck at the back of my head until today.

I washed my face and started sobbing again. But I went ahead to get ready to go to PJ for business purposes despite the guilt that I had to leave her alone.

I cried silently everytime I think of her. I miss her.

September 18, 2009. 8.30 am.

Akak buried Oleen. I did not follow, I did not watch. I stayed inside, baking cakes to distract myself. I hope she knows that even though I'm not there when she was buried, I love her to bits. Truly one of the few cats that bonded with me in no time.


Lyiana Ruslan said...
September 26, 2009 at 1:30 PM

moo, i had a cat i loved dearly die too, i know the feeling-be strong yeah? oleen is definately in a better place now:)