Kawan saya dah berubah. I barely knew her anymore. Sedih ada, disappointed pun ada. Kenapa dia berubah pun saya tak tau. Tapi, saya tak suka.

Even so, I am not in the position to tell her about this. We barely talk nowadays. Not even text messaging. I just want to know why. Because, she used to be different. She used to be someone I know that would never do something like that.

Maybe, I don't know her that well? Maybe that's the real her? Was she influenced by someone,anyone? Is this what she want, all this while?

I feel like, I want to protect her; like always. I feel like I need to do something about it. But, it'll just ruin everything in a split second. I want to, but I just can't. Sigh.

Kepada si Awak, saya nak awak tahu bahawa saya sangat sayangkan awak. I just hope that you have your own solid reasons for all these. I love you, but I don't like your new appearance. Seriously, what happen to you? I miss the old you.

P/s. I'm sorry but I just need to be frank about this. Can't deny that I was a bit shocked and upset. I hate changes. :(

Taking back my love

Saya sudah cuba yang terbaik. Minta maaf sudah, cuba contact sudah, tapi semua to no use.

Sorry IS the hardest word. I've let down my guard, I've done almost everything.

Tapi, masih tiada reply. Hmm...Am I forgiven or not? Tuhan je tau.

Mintak maaf kat Ma and Abah macam lagi senang je. Cakap sorry sekarang, pastu buat lagi. Next Raya, minta maaf lagi. Ahahaha..

Bak kata orang, tak payah lah mengharap sangat. Do what you gotta do then pray for the best. I pray for forgiveness. Is it worth all this? Ntah lah. I guess..

Btw,hari ni asyik gelak macam siots jer. Thanks to Nina, Sha, Adik, Azreen and myself. (vain? think again!) I love meeting the cousins. They're all maniacs! LOL

Lagi satu, sekarang ni kepala asyik fikir pasal makanan je. Dah la tengah Raya, perut makin bulat macam Teletubby (Saya nak kaler yang paling best chopp! pastu nak plasma tv please, xmain la tv kecik-kecik sebab perut saya bunch! haha)

And guess what? Nina, Sha and I are such good actors at the office. Aren't we,fellas? Muahaha. bab pura-pura berlakon depan boss nombor satu :P


Takziah to Elly and family for their lost..
Semoga roh your late Uwan dicucuri rahmat.
Be strong, Nur Zaili. And yes, I will jaga my Uwan elok-elok.

Mothers can sometimes be funny

Malam kelmarin ada cerita Cuci kat tv2, but we were watching Congkak on Astro Ria. Bila iklan, kitorang tengok la Cuci..So, I assume you guys tau la kan siapa pelakon-pelakon dalam Cuci tu..Sah-sah lah Afdlin Shauki punya gang right?

So, sambil tengok, sambil mama tanya cerita tu pasal apa, and then cakap pasal size badan Afdlin and that Afdlin patut masuk The Biggest Loser (???)..kesian pakcik tu, mesti menangis kalau dia baca T_T..Tiba-tiba tv pun tunjuk si AC Mizal..Keluarlah satu suara yang bertanya, "Eh, si AC Milan tu kahwin dengan siapa ek?" *semua orang senyap sekejap; total silence* *hayball berguling di tengah padang pasir...kur kur kur* And then...BAHAHAHAHAHAHA AC MILAN!!!!! AC MIZAL LAH MA!!

Memang masing-masing gelak terbahak-bahak including Mama masa tu wakaka..adoih..At least we know that Mama knows her football :P

Dahla the day before Mama nak tanya about this one dessert but she forgot the name. She said, "Alaa..yang start dengan 'k' tuu..konikoni? konikuna?" Pastu Adik yang bijaksana ni pegi suggest pulak, "Kinokuniya ke Ma?" Ma pun "Haaa! Apa dia? Kinokuniya ye!!" Ape lagi, all three of us (including my other sister, Za Gemz) laughed tak hengat dunia laa even though tengah beraya rumah orang kan masa tu, kami peduli apa hahaha! Pastu baru lah Mama tau kenapa kitorang gelak..We told her lah Kinokuniya tu book store..kejadahnya pulak nama dessert! hahaha..Aunty Yon pun tau hahaha!

Macam mana...

...nak cantikkan blog ni??? bosan seyh...

RIP OLEEN Sept 17,2009. 10.15pm

I can't really say much about how devastated I am with the lost.

I've grown to love Oleen ever since the first time I set my eyes on her.She was great, playful, an eating machine and definitely adorable.

She was weak and unlike her real self during her last days on earth.

Her death saddened me. It really got me there.

In the last couple of days, she didn't want to be kept in the cage(for monitoring purposes) because, according to Mama, cats will find another place other than home if they're dying. Oleen chose the narrow drain at the back of the house.

Sept 17,2009. 9.30 pm
It was raining cats and dogs since 6.30 p.m. We never knew where Oleen was. Then, Akak searched for Oleen and found her in the same drain, cold, soaking wet and so weak. Abah and Akak picked her up and I heard a shrieking sound that I will never forget; Oleen cried. Loudly. The sound was so disturbing, it made akak panicked and she quickly put Oleen down. I was shocked, I couldn't utter a word. I just watched her lying there in the rain. Then, I took a towel and wrapped her in it. The sound of her, crying, heavy breathing completely got me. I cried so hard watching her. Couldn't hold back the tears..The world cried too, for she's a lovable creature that God gave us even though it has not been 2 months. Abah put an umbrella to shade her from the rain and Ma asked me to put her in the box with a dry towel. I picked her up slowly and put her in the box. She was so tiny, all that's left were bones and skin and she was different. She looked different.

After a while, Ma asked me to bring her in because it was cold outside and I did exactly what she told me to do. Then, that same sound again. Oleen tried hard to get out of the box and out of the house in her weakest body. I quickly burst into tears again like crazy and tell her "No, Oleen, no" and let her outside again. This time, she had no strength to fight again.

I watched her gasping for air as she was trying to breathe. It was painful for me to watch, let alone for her to suffer like that. I couldn't stop crying and I can hardly watch her anymore. But at the same time, I wanted to be there with her. During her final moment with us. After a few minutes, I gave up. I couldn't watch. It's too devastating. Her cries, still stuck at the back of my head until today.

I washed my face and started sobbing again. But I went ahead to get ready to go to PJ for business purposes despite the guilt that I had to leave her alone.

I cried silently everytime I think of her. I miss her.

September 18, 2009. 8.30 am.

Akak buried Oleen. I did not follow, I did not watch. I stayed inside, baking cakes to distract myself. I hope she knows that even though I'm not there when she was buried, I love her to bits. Truly one of the few cats that bonded with me in no time.

Quotes of the day

"People change like the seasons." - Justin Timberlake

"I got chicks more than Kentucky." - as quoted by Nina Alyssa

Everybody Loves Raymond

Have you watch it? This sitcom cracks me every time. Just watched one of the episodes in Season One for the third time and man, I laughed my ass off!!


*When Ray discovers that the diamond in Debra's wedding ring is a fake, he finds a way to steal the ring so he can replace the stone, unaware that she replaced the diamond with a real one after their wedding. They fought over it once the truth comes out. Then, their daughter Ally (maybe when she was around 6 years old), came downstairs to show them a Valentine's card a friend had made her.* (It was a Valentine's day, indeed)

Ally : Look what Kenny gave me. *shows them a half heart-shaped card*
Ray and Debra : Oooh..A valentine's card..*opens it*
Ray : With a gum in it..
Ally : Kenny blow a gum into it and gave it to me.
Debra : That's so sweet! aww..Now go upstairs sweetheart, I'll be right up in just a minute.
Ray : *After Ally left* Cheap bastard.

How can you not love this show???! LOL

P/s. I love watching shows with a dysfunctional family in it :D


I hate hypocrites.

They fake a lot.

But I cannot deny that sometimes, I fake things too.

Does that mean that I'm a hypocrite?

P/s. I hate those who kiss arse, too. Eeuuw, the smell..let alone the taste. LOL

Speeches that changed the world

Currently reading this. Loving it.