Does everything really happen for a reason??


Unfortunately for me, regret is the driving force behind my moving-on mission.

But oh well, it's a happy thought.


Credit to whoever did this :)

Budak gila

I got this e-mail from my mum (very rajin of you to forward this Ma) and I find it too hilarious to not to share with you guys! I don't know of it's true, but well, it's worth your time! Read it. You'll laugh till you die. At least, that's what this boy will say. DIE ALL!!!! Hahahaha

Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2007
Karangan budak darjah 4

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air
batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya.
Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di
Genting
Highlands
dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke
Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

My reaction after reading this? What the hell is wrong with this kid?? LOL

Memang out of the box, inovatif, kritis dan kreatif and everything that's in the UiTM's visi dan misai oops, I mean misi... and hell, his imagination really did run wild!

Tapi last-last semua mati? Come on! You could do better than that kid! Write more! Hahahaha

Memang sengal. Kalau my brother si Umar write like this, I don't know what will happen to him. Mama malu, Abah tak mengaku anak. Me? "Haish..Another psycho in the family? Cukup-cukupla dengan me and si Adik je."


Morals of the story?
1. Do not speak English. Maksud saya, jangan cakap Bahasa Inggeris,nanti orang tak paham kalau kita maki hamun.
2. Pastikan ada air panas untuk persediaan mandi di pagi hari.
3. Pastikan anda melatih anak anda untuk menjadi seorang atlit jikalau tiada kenderaan, di samping mengajarnya Matematik(128 kilometer) dan Fizik(kelajuan cahaya), walhal Bahasa Melayu nya teruk.
4. Ban semua cerita kartun instead of horror movies (nak propose kat Puteri UMNO lah)
5. Kalau mak ajak pergi pasar, JANGAN ikut.
6. DILARANG menggunakan mikrofon.
7. JANGAN makan atau beli daging.
8. Kalau ada accident, jangan laporkan kepada polis. They might die.
9. Gunakan tas tangan untuk tujuan yang betul.
10. Akhir sekali, kalau dah buat salah, tak payah lah nak salam. NANTI TANGAN KENA KERAT!

Holiday mode!!

Now that I've finished my 3-hellish-months at work, I shall indulge myself into these activities:

1. Karaoke with my hell-buddies Nina & Sha




2. Go get the Graffi tee t-shirt that I won from Junk

3. Road trip to PD and Melaka with fellow kuli-kuli yang bekerja haha


4. Watch movies

5. Buy DVDs. I've missed soo many :(

6. Be a couch potato



7. Belajar memasak. According to Mama, kek batik tidak akan menjamin kebahagiaan rumahtangga kelak.

8. Trip to Bandung with the whole family!!! Shopping haven baby!!!


9. Jamming, jamming, jamming!



10. Cari kerja part time at any events yang can get rm50/day

11. Grab my guitar again after so long



12. Sambung baca Twilight Saga

13. Buy Muse's latest album, The Resistance!


14. Go to any gigs

15. Be healthy again! Go to gym, swim and jog


There's lots more that I can't think of right now..Oh well, at least all of these are on my list to-do :D

Stupid lousy job

Yayy today I got scolded by my boss for the first time!!! May I say, I was not the one to blame? Although I admit, I could be more alert.

But then, even if I did it without thinking, even if I did it with my own conscience, it could be worse.

Aah well..I was under pressure. Sanggup bawak kerja balik rumah tau tak? Still kena marah jugak.

She didn't scold me teruk maybe because she knows it was her fault for not telling me what exactly that I had to do and what she needed. Hello, I did what was supposedly YOUR job. Me. Moi. Sambil you goyang kaki check Facebook and YM with your scandals.

Kalau ada salah, padanlah muka. Sape suro kau tak check betul2.

But who cares. My friends and I are saving all the documents needed for LLB later. Conveyancing, litigation..All those formats and procedures. Why??

BECAUSE TOMORROW IS OUR LAST DAY!!!! Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Freedom!!! Free from this hell, at last!!

Kepada para juniors yang baca blog ini, tak payah laa buang masa buat attachment kat firm ni. Trust me, you don't want to. It's full of hypocrites and two faced bitches (it is an all-female firm after all)

Anyways, thanks yaw for the memories. Although it's quite obvious that we learned things and stuffs all by ourselves most of the time. Thanks for making me realise that I deserve so much better. Too many workloads, too little money. I could do more, man! But thanks anyways, hell firm.

The most important thing that I've learned from this place is to treat people with RESPECT because that is what they're lacking. Be it your staffs, your clients or students. Setakat mengampu and mengutuk orang baik tak payah. If I were to be a lawyer someday, I WILL NEVER treat the people around me the way they treated me. KARMA BABE!!!!

P.S. When my friends say that Facebook boleh mendatangkan pergaduhan, I believe them now. Haha even though in this case, it was totally for another reason. Jom hantukkan kepala!



Vee the hot bachelorette chotchet

Yesterday, 4th of October was the day that I first enjoyed a bachelorette party. Sebelum ni mana pernah..Tiba-tiba je dapat kad kawen. Tiba-tiba je dapat tau si polan dah engaged. Tiba-tiba je si minah dah berpunya(sejak bila ntah) and nak kawen.

So, the venue was at Redbox Sunway Pyramid (dah la aku loser gila lupa jalan nak gi sini. Ada kete pon tak guna wahaha) Park kat valet parking tapi maak aiihh..valet lagi satu pulak so still kena jalan jauh,bongek betul. Moi arrived at around 10.45am. The others ada yang dah sampai.

Leez adalah pelakon utama dalam misi Ops Tipu Vee so dia datang lambat sikit sebab dia kena fetch V at her house. Leez cerita, V was too easy. All she had to do was ajak V gi lunch and V terus cakap "lunch? ok!" hahaha

So, yang lain-lain yang dah sampai ni pun ada misi. Iaitu misi Ops Tiup Belon yang berbentuk Heart. (Belon tu kelakar bentuk dia, macam telinga Mickey Mouse pun ada, mcm boobies pun ada..oops! obscene! tutup mata kanak2!)

Oleh sebab saya mempunyai pipi yang agak kuat dan perut penuh dengan angin yang terperangkap pagi tu, jadi saya offer diri meniup belon-belon tersebut(sebenarnya memang kena paksa tiup pun ciss!)

As usual, dalam pertandingan meniup belon cenggini, pasti ada belon yg sesuka hati nak pecah sendiri..And us being girls, pastilaa "Aaaaaaahhhh!!" wahahaha gedik hell bluwekss! I tak jerit please...so not my thangg. gagaga..

Anyway, while waiting for the bride-to-be and pelakon-in-the-making, we karaoke first! Yang lawaknya, microphone ada 4, tapi yang tak pegang microphone pun sudi meminjamkan suara mereka yang tak merdu tu hahaha...So, guess all you want. I just thanked god for not making the room explode! haha

Here are the songs that we sang. Some only laa coz we sang a lot.

Britney Spears-Drive Me Crazy
I knew Dy was behind this. Britney?? Omg. This was our first song by the way.

Suasana Hari Raya-Anuar Zain & Ellina
Lagu raya haruss! Yelaa, still in raya mode kaan hahaha

Celine Dion-It's all coming back to me now
Bagai nak pecah bilik tu.. I've got a video showing my dear friend Leez sang her heart out. Or should I say, yell? hahahaha. But I don't think it was her. But someone shrieked! Kata nak ikut suara Celine kan? LOL

Just a Girl-No Doubt
It's a special song cuz the bride chose it by herself. The others? Backup dancers,lah! haha. Sorry V, you're a girl now, but you've to buckle up to be a woman in 5days!! Scary innit? I guess the song 'I'm not a girl, not yet a woman' applies here :P

Senja nan Merah-Ziana Zain & Awie
Siapa yang tau lagu ni, semua nyanyi lah. Siapa ntah yang duet ngan Dy hehe

Poker Face/Don't Cha
Woi woi woi...Budak2 ni semuanya ada bakat menari terpendam siott..They turned the room into a dance floor pulak daaahh...It was pretty dark and I was taking a video, so untuk mengagumi dan melihat dengan lebih jelas bakat2 terpendam tersebut, saya cerahkanlah bilik itu and voila! Semua jari menuding ke arah saya kerana mengkantoikan mereka! Hey, I was doing my job as a video girl.. :P But they kept on going anyway. Siap battle pulaak tak bole blah! I was not part of it, honest!!

Ada Backstreet Boys lah, N'sync lah..Gloria Gaynor's I will Survive pon got!! But...jengjengjeng...

Lagu paling epic...


Cinta Tiga Segi-Kristal
Guess who sang this? JASMINE ZULKIFLI!!! Teringat zaman-zaman dulu masa mula2 masuk UiTM, masa semuanya budak2 hingusan lagi...First time jumpa Jas, she doesn't speak Malay coz she just got back from Holland. She was transfered here lah..So, me, being a considerate human being, mula lah ajar Jas perkataan2 that she doesn't know. Pendek cerita, curses in Malay :D
So, bila Jas dah pandai nyanyi lagu Malay, it was my proudest moment. Sob sob. I'm proud of you,Jas. Welcome to Malaysia! Where people curse a lot!! Aaaanywaaayyy...

Sambung balik cerita...where the surprise began.

The Surprise
Yaya got a phone call (or maybe a text message) from Leez saying that they have arrived at the crime scene(tell you all about it later) and so we waited...and waited...satu dua lagu terpaksa di-burned and then "SURPRISE!!!" (I bet the guy who ushered them in pun terkejut bahaha)

The bride to be was overwhelmed and flattered. V ingatkan we totally forgot about her. No way, man! So anyway, lepas dah makan, dah karaoke and dah melalak, it was time for V to open up her real, special surprise present. Hahahaha let's just say that it's between her and her future husband lah. Kitorang memang tak kasi can langsung. Dah kata BACHELORETTE PARTY kaaan? Anything kinky, over the edge also count lah! Hahaha! The only hint that I can give out is that it's red, and very ooh-la-la...woot!

Lepas tu kitorang sambung nyanyi lagi..And guess what? Ada gelas pecah siott! Tak sedap kot suara diorang...Banyak teori keluar..(dah kata future lawyers, terpaksa lah buat presumptions dan assumptions dan sewaktu dengannya) Ada yang cakap teori fizik(bunyi kuat sangat jadi menyebabkan gelas tu kena heart attack) ada jugak yang cakap getaran(gelas tu bergerak mengikut rentak lagu and then decide nak suicide so die terjun meja) and macam2 lagilah..

We ended the party with the song Always by Bon Jovi. Lagu wajib karaoke..Although semua dah pancit after 3hours straight singing! Ish3..

After the party, the video girl, the best actress and the Devil's bride went to Swensen's for dessert hehehe...Those girls never learn their lessons. Tuhan kata, kalau demam, jangan makan benda sejuk,nanti lagi teruk. Ok. maybe doctor yang kata on God's behalf. ;)

All in all, we had fun. Congratulations in advance, Siti Ruvinna! From all of us!!!

Innocent, Serious, Innocent, Bluegh!!

2 days ago

Umar and I were watching Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader on channel 7e on Astro [Kenapa lah Malaysia tak buat show macam ni. Boleh aku masuk untuk dapat side income sikit. Dah lah dapat duit, dapat masuk tv, dapat menimba ilmu pulak tu(yang ni nampak sangat menipu haha)] Before I tell you the story, ingin saya ingatkan bahawa budak budak sangatlah innocent dan cute bila mereka serious. Si Umar ni pun one of the few lah.

So..the question that was being asked read, 'True or false? Only male lions have manes.'

Me: Trueeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Senang nya! Ishk. Free-free je dapat duit.
Umar: Along, manes tu apa?
Me: Manes? Manes tu yang...(masa ni tengah fikir perkataan yang sesuai) Alaa yang macam janggut kat muka dia tuu (while gesturing a circle around my face)

(Yes, I know. Kenapa tak cakap rambut je kan?)

Umar: Ohh!!!! Yang macam tudung tu eh?
*muka innocent dan serious memandang kakaknya yang tak berguna, yang about-to-laugh-hard-at-his-face-tapi-tak-jadi sebab he was serious and was waiting for a truthful answer*

Me: (tahan gelak, sambil senyum) Haaaa yelah. Yang macam tudung tu. *Dalam hati gelak macam setan*
(I knew he was referring to Alex the Lion in Madagascar. His mane really does look like a tudung kan dalam cerita tu?)

It's ok. I did not laugh at him. Instead, I grinned like an idiot while watching his innocent face again. Haha adik aku nih, pandai plak buat lawak innocent.

King of the Jungle wearing a Hijab? Dang, jatuh standard. Mana pegi dignity yang dimegah-megahkan tu nanti? hahaha. Umar...Umar..imaginasi anda sangat tinggi dan pelik tapi makes sense :)

Yesterday

Another boring day at the office, but Nina cracked me up with her stupid, dirty jokes. Contohnya: (Not for the faint hearted yea)

1. What is the similarity between mayonnaise and semen?? Haa jawab, jawab!

The other one is too dirty to be put up here. But, I laughed like a hyena, non stop for 5 minutes. (Yes, Azhani yang sengal ni pergi sebarkan joke ini kepada kakak-kakak office yang nampak je innocent tapi sebenarnya cepat tangkap)

Plus, I gave her one. Dirtier, dumber. Totally not for kids. hahaha. Memang gelak terkentut-kentut (Nina je, I didn't)

P/s. I should keep track of all these stupid jokes and compile it in one book. Then sell. Along with my kek batik. Woooo...Best. Siapa yang ada jokes, jangan lah malu nak share. Saya seorang yang bersikap terbuka. Serious. Adik, this goes out to you, especially. Aku tau kau ni lagi berfikiran kurang bersih dari aku haha

P/ss. Bestnya! Tampak colourful sungguh blog ku ini!!