Happy 21st GEMZ!

To my


Retarded,



Psychotic,



Maniac,



Wacko



I'm-with-Memes-don't-mess-with-me...

sister, I wish you a Happy 21st Birthday!! Semoga kumis kau gugur selalu...hahaha

Wrapping up 2009

Finally have the mood to blog hehe..So many things happened these past few months but haven't had the chance to write them all..Maklumlah saya ni pemalas nak blogging..Apa guna ade blog pun tada tau -_-" Blame Twitter & Facebook & One Tree Hill & dvds

Jadi, mari kita recap (in no particular order) dari wedding Cik, eh, PUAN Siti Ruvinna & Encik Kama on the 10th Oct, 2009 which was also Zizi dearie's birthday ;)

1. V's tying the knot

What a night! Done at her parents' house in Subang, she was gorgeous! Kami convoy ramai-ramai, around 5 cars from Shah Alam. The food's great and although malam tu panas, dan yang datang pun terlalu ramai sebab semua excited kawan dah kahwin, tapi semua maintain la kan..So now she's 2 months married. Paling penting, she got married during her LLB course. Terbaik. How does it feel to be a wifey now,V? :)

2. 16.10.2009: Telah masuk waktu berhenti kerja

Can't deny that I was so damn happy to finally have finished working at the firm, but at the same time, I felt that I have yet to learn everything from my lawyers during the 3 months course, especially conveyancing. Jadi terpaksa lah berhempas pulas sket dalam LLB nanti hehe. Nevertheless, thanks to the firm for the experience.
In the picture: Us with the office boy yg slalu tanya "boss da masuk dah?" Kalau blom, "yess" kalau dah, "Alaa boring btollaa" haha siot je. Terbaik ah Boy.

3. Graduation Day: 27th Oct


One of the happiest days of my life. D'oh..Dah kata graduation pulak hehehe...Datang bersama Leez, kami terlambat sedikit tetapi masih sempat camwhoring bersama rakan-rakan yg lain..Mama invited my grandparents too so a bit cuak dan malu la sebab tak excel sangat but what the heck, Ive graduated with a degree(hons) anyway hehehe despite everything that has happened kan..Proud of myself nonetheless although I know I could do better(so cliche) haha. Thanks to everyone who came for the graduation especially Zizi & Sha, Jiha, Teen, Yati, Min and the others(eventhough they were there only to support Leez sobsob) haha. Too bad my best buddies couldn't make it. Merajuk ngan korang. Had a graduation dinner at Serai Sec.3 with the family. Adik & Za weren't there sebab masing2 kat sekolah masing2 kan lame betul. Boo kanak2 sekolah. Adik, kau Medical SCHOOL so kira sekolah gak.

4. Road trip to Melaka bersama rakan-rakan sejawat



Setelah penat bekerja, kami mengambil keputusan untuk melarikan diri ke Melaka, bandar bersejarah. We planned to go to PD along the way too but Nina & Nadia had other plans so boo them!! Kat sana memang lawak gila betul. Dah lah nak tipu orang hotel cakap 2 orang je tido, papp di bagi nya bilik betul2 depan reception memang terbaik ah. Dah lah CCTV terpampang tepi corridor tu damn la. Last2 caught on camera jugak daa kene extra charge wakaka..When we had our dinner, hujan lebat gila so we were stranded at the restaurant for more than an hour. Last2 semua lari bergelimpangan balik hotel which was like 300 meters from the place. Dahla si Mel sakit kaki pulak tak boleh lari so semua tunggu dia and last2 semua decide mandi hujan je laa hahaha. But dang, it was soo cold! I was shivering like crazy! But the trip was awesome lah, I really needed a getaway at the time ;) And the asam pedas at the restaurant before balik tu terbaik!!

5. Karaoke yang never ending

Gang biasa yg slalu ajak hehehe //////Gang Lawsoc yg pergi mini reunion.

.............................................Birthday party si Amad yang sengal............................................

Xpernah2 pegi karaoke tiba2 tahun ni rajin gila pulak kan hahaha dahlah yg mengajak semua nya hantu menyanyi hehehe had loads of fun though. sorry la suara tak sedap kan,da kata karaoke kihkihkih..Paling best nyanyi Lady Marmalade with Nina(yes, just the two of us) Can you imagine? 2 orang nak bawak suara 4 orang? Memang semput ah! N yes, I did the rapping part wahaha hey at least I got a temukan gemuruh for that! hehe thanks lah Leez, Fyza n Sha yang lebih pentingkan makanan masa tuu...Ciss betul korang nih.

The mini reunion with Lawsoc lads pun not bad..We played bowling first before karaoke-ing tapi malas lah nak letak score sebab tak dapat top 3 so buat malu je kalau letak hahaha..Faida and the others semangat nak sign socks masing2 padahal lepas tu kata nak buang membazir je hahaha..Mine dah basuh bagi Umar pakai untuk next year wahahaha..And I still remember the guy yang jaga shoe counter tu. Kelakar siot! He had a funny face, I guess it was a birth defect la kot, if not his bad habit but he was always smiling yang semacam tu..EVERYTIME we asked for our shoe sizes. Serious! At first we thought nak mengorat si Faida, last2 die macam nak mengorat semua orang including Nabil (??) so takkan mengorat kot kan..Nawal, Mel & Leez dah gelak terbahak2 tak kaver..So if u guys wanna check this guy out, pergi la Bowling alley Mid Valley eh hehehe. Serious you'll feel appreciated and loved :D

6. Contests

All the contestants including the 'criminal' /// Thanks to this guy here! Adam!

Sherlock Holmes wannabe was the latest contest I entered. One sweet day, adam posted a link at fb chat asking me to check it out. All I had to do was snap a photo of myself, then post je kat the event page n get as many votes as I can to be in the top10. So saya pun tangkaplah gambo dan post lah dan 'paksa' kawan2 yang online 'like' hahaha sorry guys!!

I made it to the final along with 7 other contestants including Adam ni haa. During the final tu, ada Criminal Hunt. All we had to do was find 10 clues at different stores in the Cineleisure and matched them all and then find the Criminal at the said place. I, along with another contestant, Mei Yun( yes we are friends now ;)) cari the criminal at the Cathay Cineplax for about half an hour. Little did we know that an announcement has been made saying that the criminal has been found and that the game's over. Kitorang punya la cari macam orang gila kat atas tu. Fortunately, Adam's friends, Molong n his gf were there so I asked them and they informed us that it's over..Sigh..Memang dah agak dahhh!

Anyway, neither Adam nor I managed to score the grand prize. It was won by a guy who has won sooooo many contests/hunts before. Lucky guy. But hadiah saguhati dia pun not bad gak..4 passes to premiere screening of Sherlock Holmes, and other movie goodies..caps, notepad,files..Best jugak kan? hehehe

The screening was on 22nd Dec which was last Tuesday. I went there with my sister Nadzira gmok, my dear Izreen Marleezard and Siti Ribenna. We were late for ticket redemption, thank god the guy on the counter was nice hehe. Damansara jam lah, as usual..Gila betul.


Yayyness!!! Free movie!! //////////////// "Saya SUKA makan!" -Malik Noor

--------------------------------Ribenna & Marleezard----------------------------------

Adam came with Noi, Yayan, Alia, Ayumi and Azam. Due to the short period of time, I didn't manage to tegur them, sebab tak sempat...Rushing gila.

Anyways, thanks sooo sooo much to those who voted for my photo. You guys made it possible for me to watch the premiere hehehe. Your help is very much appreciated ;) Muahx!!

7. Family vacay to negara Soda Gembira!


Hellloooo Bandung! Jgn ganyang kami!! Rutin wajib iaitu makan.


Rutin #2: shopping sambil buat gila. /////////// Ole-ole wajib


Abah & Atok xshopping. Tpaksa tunggu je / Air wajib. Tgk minum sampai 2 botol


RM10. Kena tipu dgn org airport / Bersama Pak Jay. Pak Jajang takde :(

Basically, all we did was shop, shop, shop!!! Hahaha..Except for Atok & Abah. Depa tido kat hotel. Borriinnggg..So we went to Rumah Mode, pasar baru, Batik house, Kartika Sari & Amanda Brownies punya kedai besar, Cihampelas, other factory outlets...Nak cerita pun there's nothing much. Except at the Bandung airport masa nak balik. We were conned!! Macam ni alkisahnya...

Atok was lured into the airport lounge by a lady, she who must not be named, so we followed lah sebab atok kata "jom minum-minum dulu" So semua masuk lounge tu and everybody ordered drinks kan..Yang peliknya, takde prices pun anywhere. No price board, no menu. But we ordered anyway. Tengok-tengok bila kena bayar tu, diorang charge rm100+ only for the stupid drinks! Nearly 300 ribu rupiah la. Mama was so shocked but she had to pay anyway lah kan. Kesian dia, that money was our emergency money. Then he told Abah but what can he do kan, as usual die senyap je la. Walau bagaimanapun, anak2 Mama semua memainkan peranan..Bila dapat tau, semua cari that lady yang bancuh coffee tu dengan harapan dapat jeling habis-habisan..Benganglah kan, bukannya nak cakap! Malangnya mereka dapat melarikan diri...


One of the ladies(behind; yg depan tu my Uwan)..Ni laa yang berjaya menarik Atok. Ciss!

Anyway, all of us had fun. Banyak jugakla barang. Thank god my luggage did not exceed its limit of 15 kilos hehehe..I wish I could go on a vacay again before next semester starts. Hmm...Anyway, I think that's all for today. Will catch another rainbow next time! :D

Vee the hot bachelorette chotchet

Yesterday, 4th of October was the day that I first enjoyed a bachelorette party. Sebelum ni mana pernah..Tiba-tiba je dapat kad kawen. Tiba-tiba je dapat tau si polan dah engaged. Tiba-tiba je si minah dah berpunya(sejak bila ntah) and nak kawen.

So, the venue was at Redbox Sunway Pyramid (dah la aku loser gila lupa jalan nak gi sini. Ada kete pon tak guna wahaha) Park kat valet parking tapi maak aiihh..valet lagi satu pulak so still kena jalan jauh,bongek betul. Moi arrived at around 10.45am. The others ada yang dah sampai.

Leez adalah pelakon utama dalam misi Ops Tipu Vee so dia datang lambat sikit sebab dia kena fetch V at her house. Leez cerita, V was too easy. All she had to do was ajak V gi lunch and V terus cakap "lunch? ok!" hahaha

So, yang lain-lain yang dah sampai ni pun ada misi. Iaitu misi Ops Tiup Belon yang berbentuk Heart. (Belon tu kelakar bentuk dia, macam telinga Mickey Mouse pun ada, mcm boobies pun ada..oops! obscene! tutup mata kanak2!)

Oleh sebab saya mempunyai pipi yang agak kuat dan perut penuh dengan angin yang terperangkap pagi tu, jadi saya offer diri meniup belon-belon tersebut(sebenarnya memang kena paksa tiup pun ciss!)

As usual, dalam pertandingan meniup belon cenggini, pasti ada belon yg sesuka hati nak pecah sendiri..And us being girls, pastilaa "Aaaaaaahhhh!!" wahahaha gedik hell bluwekss! I tak jerit please...so not my thangg. gagaga..

Anyway, while waiting for the bride-to-be and pelakon-in-the-making, we karaoke first! Yang lawaknya, microphone ada 4, tapi yang tak pegang microphone pun sudi meminjamkan suara mereka yang tak merdu tu hahaha...So, guess all you want. I just thanked god for not making the room explode! haha

Here are the songs that we sang. Some only laa coz we sang a lot.

Britney Spears-Drive Me Crazy
I knew Dy was behind this. Britney?? Omg. This was our first song by the way.

Suasana Hari Raya-Anuar Zain & Ellina
Lagu raya haruss! Yelaa, still in raya mode kaan hahaha

Celine Dion-It's all coming back to me now
Bagai nak pecah bilik tu.. I've got a video showing my dear friend Leez sang her heart out. Or should I say, yell? hahahaha. But I don't think it was her. But someone shrieked! Kata nak ikut suara Celine kan? LOL

Just a Girl-No Doubt
It's a special song cuz the bride chose it by herself. The others? Backup dancers,lah! haha. Sorry V, you're a girl now, but you've to buckle up to be a woman in 5days!! Scary innit? I guess the song 'I'm not a girl, not yet a woman' applies here :P

Senja nan Merah-Ziana Zain & Awie
Siapa yang tau lagu ni, semua nyanyi lah. Siapa ntah yang duet ngan Dy hehe

Poker Face/Don't Cha
Woi woi woi...Budak2 ni semuanya ada bakat menari terpendam siott..They turned the room into a dance floor pulak daaahh...It was pretty dark and I was taking a video, so untuk mengagumi dan melihat dengan lebih jelas bakat2 terpendam tersebut, saya cerahkanlah bilik itu and voila! Semua jari menuding ke arah saya kerana mengkantoikan mereka! Hey, I was doing my job as a video girl.. :P But they kept on going anyway. Siap battle pulaak tak bole blah! I was not part of it, honest!!

Ada Backstreet Boys lah, N'sync lah..Gloria Gaynor's I will Survive pon got!! But...jengjengjeng...

Lagu paling epic...

Cinta Tiga Segi-Kristal
Guess who sang this? JASMINE ZULKIFLI!!! Teringat zaman-zaman dulu masa mula2 masuk UiTM, masa semuanya budak2 hingusan lagi...First time jumpa Jas, she doesn't speak Malay coz she just got back from Holland. She was transfered here lah..So, me, being a considerate human being, mula lah ajar Jas perkataan2 that she doesn't know. Pendek cerita, curses in Malay :D
So, bila Jas dah pandai nyanyi lagu Malay, it was my proudest moment. Sob sob. I'm proud of you,Jas. Welcome to Malaysia! Where people curse a lot!! Aaaanywaaayyy...

Sambung balik cerita...where the surprise began.

The Surprise
Yaya got a phone call (or maybe a text message) from Leez saying that they have arrived at the crime scene(tell you all about it later) and so we waited...and waited...satu dua lagu terpaksa di-burned and then "SURPRISE!!!" (I bet the guy who ushered them in pun terkejut bahaha)

The bride to be was overwhelmed and flattered. V ingatkan we totally forgot about her. No way, man! So anyway, lepas dah makan, dah karaoke and dah melalak, it was time for V to open up her real, special surprise present. Hahahaha let's just say that it's between her and her future husband lah. Kitorang memang tak kasi can langsung. Dah kata BACHELORETTE PARTY kaaan? Anything kinky, over the edge also count lah! Hahaha! The only hint that I can give out is that it's red, and very ooh-la-la...woot!

Lepas tu kitorang sambung nyanyi lagi..And guess what? Ada gelas pecah siott! Tak sedap kot suara diorang...Banyak teori keluar..(dah kata future lawyers, terpaksa lah buat presumptions dan assumptions dan sewaktu dengannya) Ada yang cakap teori fizik(bunyi kuat sangat jadi menyebabkan gelas tu kena heart attack) ada jugak yang cakap getaran(gelas tu bergerak mengikut rentak lagu and then decide nak suicide so die terjun meja) and macam2 lagilah..

We ended the party with the song Always by Bon Jovi. Lagu wajib karaoke..Although semua dah pancit after 3hours straight singing! Ish3..

After the party, the video girl, the best actress and the Devil's bride went to Swensen's for dessert hehehe...Those girls never learn their lessons. Tuhan kata, kalau demam, jangan makan benda sejuk,nanti lagi teruk. Ok. maybe doctor yang kata on God's behalf. ;)

All in all, we had fun. Congratulations in advance, Siti Ruvinna! From all of us!!!

Innocent, Serious, Innocent, Bluegh!!

2 days ago

Umar and I were watching Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader on channel 7e on Astro [Kenapa lah Malaysia tak buat show macam ni. Boleh aku masuk untuk dapat side income sikit. Dah lah dapat duit, dapat masuk tv, dapat menimba ilmu pulak tu(yang ni nampak sangat menipu haha)] Before I tell you the story, ingin saya ingatkan bahawa budak budak sangatlah innocent dan cute bila mereka serious. Si Umar ni pun one of the few lah.

So..the question that was being asked read, 'True or false? Only male lions have manes.'

Me: Trueeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Senang nya! Ishk. Free-free je dapat duit.
Umar: Along, manes tu apa?
Me: Manes? Manes tu yang...(masa ni tengah fikir perkataan yang sesuai) Alaa yang macam janggut kat muka dia tuu (while gesturing a circle around my face)

(Yes, I know. Kenapa tak cakap rambut je kan?)

Umar: Ohh!!!! Yang macam tudung tu eh?
*muka innocent dan serious memandang kakaknya yang tak berguna, yang about-to-laugh-hard-at-his-face-tapi-tak-jadi sebab he was serious and was waiting for a truthful answer*

Me: (tahan gelak, sambil senyum) Haaaa yelah. Yang macam tudung tu. *Dalam hati gelak macam setan*
(I knew he was referring to Alex the Lion in Madagascar. His mane really does look like a tudung kan dalam cerita tu?)

It's ok. I did not laugh at him. Instead, I grinned like an idiot while watching his innocent face again. Haha adik aku nih, pandai plak buat lawak innocent.

King of the Jungle wearing a Hijab? Dang, jatuh standard. Mana pegi dignity yang dimegah-megahkan tu nanti? hahaha. Umar...Umar..imaginasi anda sangat tinggi dan pelik tapi makes sense :)

Yesterday

Another boring day at the office, but Nina cracked me up with her stupid, dirty jokes. Contohnya: (Not for the faint hearted yea)

1. What is the similarity between mayonnaise and semen?? Haa jawab, jawab!

The other one is too dirty to be put up here. But, I laughed like a hyena, non stop for 5 minutes. (Yes, Azhani yang sengal ni pergi sebarkan joke ini kepada kakak-kakak office yang nampak je innocent tapi sebenarnya cepat tangkap)

Plus, I gave her one. Dirtier, dumber. Totally not for kids. hahaha. Memang gelak terkentut-kentut (Nina je, I didn't)

P/s. I should keep track of all these stupid jokes and compile it in one book. Then sell. Along with my kek batik. Woooo...Best. Siapa yang ada jokes, jangan lah malu nak share. Saya seorang yang bersikap terbuka. Serious. Adik, this goes out to you, especially. Aku tau kau ni lagi berfikiran kurang bersih dari aku haha

P/ss. Bestnya! Tampak colourful sungguh blog ku ini!!

:(

Kawan saya dah berubah. I barely knew her anymore. Sedih ada, disappointed pun ada. Kenapa dia berubah pun saya tak tau. Tapi, saya tak suka.

Even so, I am not in the position to tell her about this. We barely talk nowadays. Not even text messaging. I just want to know why. Because, she used to be different. She used to be someone I know that would never do something like that.

Maybe, I don't know her that well? Maybe that's the real her? Was she influenced by someone,anyone? Is this what she want, all this while?

I feel like, I want to protect her; like always. I feel like I need to do something about it. But, it'll just ruin everything in a split second. I want to, but I just can't. Sigh.

Kepada si Awak, saya nak awak tahu bahawa saya sangat sayangkan awak. I just hope that you have your own solid reasons for all these. I love you, but I don't like your new appearance. Seriously, what happen to you? I miss the old you.

P/s. I'm sorry but I just need to be frank about this. Can't deny that I was a bit shocked and upset. I hate changes. :(

Taking back my love

Saya sudah cuba yang terbaik. Minta maaf sudah, cuba contact sudah, tapi semua to no use.

Sorry IS the hardest word. I've let down my guard, I've done almost everything.

Tapi, masih tiada reply. Hmm...Am I forgiven or not? Tuhan je tau.

Mintak maaf kat Ma and Abah macam lagi senang je. Cakap sorry sekarang, pastu buat lagi. Next Raya, minta maaf lagi. Ahahaha..

Bak kata orang, tak payah lah mengharap sangat. Do what you gotta do then pray for the best. I pray for forgiveness. Is it worth all this? Ntah lah. I guess..

Btw,hari ni asyik gelak macam siots jer. Thanks to Nina, Sha, Adik, Azreen and myself. (vain? think again!) I love meeting the cousins. They're all maniacs! LOL

Lagi satu, sekarang ni kepala asyik fikir pasal makanan je. Dah la tengah Raya, perut makin bulat macam Teletubby (Saya nak kaler yang paling best chopp! pastu nak plasma tv please, xmain la tv kecik-kecik sebab perut saya bunch! haha)

And guess what? Nina, Sha and I are such good actors at the office. Aren't we,fellas? Muahaha. bab pura-pura berlakon depan boss nombor satu :P

Mothers can sometimes be funny

Malam kelmarin ada cerita Cuci kat tv2, but we were watching Congkak on Astro Ria. Bila iklan, kitorang tengok la Cuci..So, I assume you guys tau la kan siapa pelakon-pelakon dalam Cuci tu..Sah-sah lah Afdlin Shauki punya gang right?

So, sambil tengok, sambil mama tanya cerita tu pasal apa, and then cakap pasal size badan Afdlin and that Afdlin patut masuk The Biggest Loser (???)..kesian pakcik tu, mesti menangis kalau dia baca T_T..Tiba-tiba tv pun tunjuk si AC Mizal..Keluarlah satu suara yang bertanya, "Eh, si AC Milan tu kahwin dengan siapa ek?" *semua orang senyap sekejap; total silence* *hayball berguling di tengah padang pasir...kur kur kur* And then...BAHAHAHAHAHAHA AC MILAN!!!!! AC MIZAL LAH MA!!

Memang masing-masing gelak terbahak-bahak including Mama masa tu wakaka..adoih..At least we know that Mama knows her football :P

Dahla the day before Mama nak tanya about this one dessert but she forgot the name. She said, "Alaa..yang start dengan 'k' tuu..konikoni? konikuna?" Pastu Adik yang bijaksana ni pegi suggest pulak, "Kinokuniya ke Ma?" Ma pun "Haaa! Apa dia? Kinokuniya ye!!" Ape lagi, all three of us (including my other sister, Za Gemz) laughed tak hengat dunia laa even though tengah beraya rumah orang kan masa tu, kami peduli apa hahaha! Pastu baru lah Mama tau kenapa kitorang gelak..We told her lah Kinokuniya tu book store..kejadahnya pulak nama dessert! hahaha..Aunty Yon pun tau hahaha!

RIP OLEEN Sept 17,2009. 10.15pm

I can't really say much about how devastated I am with the lost.

I've grown to love Oleen ever since the first time I set my eyes on her.She was great, playful, an eating machine and definitely adorable.

She was weak and unlike her real self during her last days on earth.

Her death saddened me. It really got me there.

In the last couple of days, she didn't want to be kept in the cage(for monitoring purposes) because, according to Mama, cats will find another place other than home if they're dying. Oleen chose the narrow drain at the back of the house.


Sept 17,2009. 9.30 pm
It was raining cats and dogs since 6.30 p.m. We never knew where Oleen was. Then, Akak searched for Oleen and found her in the same drain, cold, soaking wet and so weak. Abah and Akak picked her up and I heard a shrieking sound that I will never forget; Oleen cried. Loudly. The sound was so disturbing, it made akak panicked and she quickly put Oleen down. I was shocked, I couldn't utter a word. I just watched her lying there in the rain. Then, I took a towel and wrapped her in it. The sound of her, crying, heavy breathing completely got me. I cried so hard watching her. Couldn't hold back the tears..The world cried too, for she's a lovable creature that God gave us even though it has not been 2 months. Abah put an umbrella to shade her from the rain and Ma asked me to put her in the box with a dry towel. I picked her up slowly and put her in the box. She was so tiny, all that's left were bones and skin and she was different. She looked different.

After a while, Ma asked me to bring her in because it was cold outside and I did exactly what she told me to do. Then, that same sound again. Oleen tried hard to get out of the box and out of the house in her weakest body. I quickly burst into tears again like crazy and tell her "No, Oleen, no" and let her outside again. This time, she had no strength to fight again.

I watched her gasping for air as she was trying to breathe. It was painful for me to watch, let alone for her to suffer like that. I couldn't stop crying and I can hardly watch her anymore. But at the same time, I wanted to be there with her. During her final moment with us. After a few minutes, I gave up. I couldn't watch. It's too devastating. Her cries, still stuck at the back of my head until today.

I washed my face and started sobbing again. But I went ahead to get ready to go to PJ for business purposes despite the guilt that I had to leave her alone.

I cried silently everytime I think of her. I miss her.


September 18, 2009. 8.30 am.

Akak buried Oleen. I did not follow, I did not watch. I stayed inside, baking cakes to distract myself. I hope she knows that even though I'm not there when she was buried, I love her to bits. Truly one of the few cats that bonded with me in no time.

Adakah??

Adakah hati Moo2 sudah terbuka semula setelah sekian lama?

Mungkinkah? Since when? Is this for real?

I myself am still not sure. Too early to tell.

But...jeng jeng jeng. Old feelings come rushing in. Uh-oh...

At least I can assure myself that I am normal after all for not having a crush on someone or something to look forward to for a verrryyy looooongg timeeee...Or at least, semi-normal.
Even so, saya dah ada matlamat hidup baru. Miahahaha!

Chasing shadows of rainbows? Hmmm...

It's funny how a simple smiley emoticon could cheer you up for the rest of the day. How a text message can turn your life around for a brief moment. Boost your energy unlike Gatorade. Light up your mood even when you're having your PMS. Put a smile on your face and keep on smiling like an idiot the whole way. Colours your black and white life.

It's even funnier when a simple act of gesture like a big fat hug, or a peck on the cheek could bring back old memories in a swoosh of time. The good, old memories..spent together without any regrets, doubts or hassles whatsoever. Laughters and jokes were the main course. Totally change your life by making everything bearable. Even when you're stressing yourself out.. You know you can get through it no matter what. You just need the right person to go to and everything will be okay after that.

But, it isn't funny anymore when you know that that feeling can be crushed in a matter of seconds. Tick,tock,tick,tock. The clock is ticking. The bomb is waiting to explode. Anytime soon. Adrenalin's pumping. Bungee-jumping or Solero Space Shot in Genting couldn't be worse than this!? Then silence. Everything just went kaput. And you can't recall what just happened. It happened so fast that it just proved the theory that time does not wait for anyone. Oh yeah. It's even faster than those F1 racing cars, that I'm sure of.

Then you just realised...That you're chasing rainbows that's not even there anymore. No sparkles. No rain. No sunshine. No beautiful colours in the sky to tell you that it's gonna be a great day. Those days were long gone. Now you're just chasing shadows of the past that you know you can't hold on to.

It's time to let go. Regardless of what they say. This paper heart here won't heal in a matter of seconds. It takes months or years to heal the wound/puncture/hole/defect. I don't care what you're gonna say. But I can tell you this. I'm slowly picking up the pieces and patiently putting them back together. Time will heal. No need for anti-depressants or sleeping pills. Na-ah.

Thanks for the memories. I'm sure we are made for great things in life. Or at least, I'm sure you are. Good luck in everything, especially your new hope and future. We are going to be fine. Totally. I still have faith in you. So no betrayals this time!

P/S. We're still friends, aren't we? ;P

Hold my hand, lead the way

I just had that dream last night.
The same one I've been having every once in a while since 9 months ago.
Twice or thrice a month.
THE dream. Sigh.

When is it gonna end?
Am I forgiven?
Have I moved on?
Is that particular person still mad at me?
Used to wake up in the middle of the night with teary-eyes
We fought again and again, and I cried every single time
Why is it so hard to let go of someone you love and really care for?
Are they blind? Can't they see? Or are they just choosing not to care?
What happen to the beautiful memories that we have shared?
Don't they mean anything at all?

I just want things to be OK between us.
I know that you have changed, but things don't have to change if you don't want them to.
I miss you a lot, I really do.
I just wish that I can reset my life the way I want it to be.
If I knew that it would hurt this much, I'd erase them all and then erase you.
I would.

You and Me-Rosie Thomas

One of the most beautiful songs ever written.
It touched me deep.
Made me cry.
Almost every time I listened to it.

You and me
Me and you
There’s so much that we’ve been through
Through it all I’ve come to understand god’s love
And if tomorrow never comes
Know this twice
Just know this once
Knowing you has made me able to go on
You and me
Me and you
There couldn’t be a better two
To be blessed to know the meaning of true love
And if you leave me
I’ll feel scared
I’ll fall apart
Feel unprepared
But I’d dare to make it through all on my own
Yes I’d dare to make it through all on my own

>Dedicated to all my friends. And to that particular someone. I can't thank you enough.

There was a time when there seemed to be a happy ending

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love[repeat]

I feel as if I'm wasted
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

> Very significant.

From daughter to mother with love.

Dear Ma,
I know it's not Mother's Day but why wait for that special day to come just to say this to you right? And besides, I haven't started blogging back then hehe. Anyway, Im writing you this because I dont know how else to express it.Im sorry for everything. I know I haven't been a good daughter like u wanted me to be, Im not a straight -A law student that Im supposed to be, I do not excel in my studies, irresponsible as your eldest daughter and I keep letting you down day by day. I know you have sacrificed so much for all of us, for the entire family and Im just hoping that Allah would one day give me a chance to repay your kindness, hardwork and all those sacrifices you've made in the future.

I just want you to know that you are truly a remarkable mother and a wonderful person. You're wonder woman. Superwoman. Nobody could replace you. I know it's a bit awkward that I come out and say this out of the blue, but it's from the bottom of my heart. I don't want to be like one of those girls yang tak kenang budi parents. So now, I just wanna say thank you for everything. Even though luck has not been on my side for the past few months, and that Ive been stressing out lately(which I didn't wanna show), I wanna thank you and I will try my best to fix my life for the sake of my own future.

Going to Puan Saudah was a mistake (lol). Patutnya tak payah jumpa pun.

For all the mistakes that I did, Im sorry. Im here to tell you that your daughters love you. Thank you for everything ma. Words fail me. But thank you. Love you, Ma.

Btw, I have to email this to you because Im pretty sure you don't know what blogspot is ;)