It's been awhile

Wow...sebulan lebih tak blogging? What is wrong with me? hehe..No time maa...It's ok. I'll try to update everything ASAP! Starting from V's wedding on 10th Oct! Hah! Anyway, dah alang-alang typing nih, the latest contest that I entered is the Sherlock Holmes wannabe contest. All I had to do is take a snap of myself doing a detective pose and get as much friends as possible to vote for me by liking the pic. So, lagi ramai 'like' lagi bagus. My aim is to get in the top 5 at least. The top 10 winners will have to compete at the final stage (cewah!) at e@curve (cineleisure kan lg senang). Ada some sort of detective/criminal hunt..More like a treasure hunt kot...

But anyways, I'm only aiming for the consolation prize which includes 4 premiere movie passes and rm200 goodies. Tu pun da cukup ye daak? Tak perlulah treasure hunt semua tuu haha! So tomorrow is the due date. Then votes will be counted. Im currently in 2nd place. So that's good news ;) Thanks soo much to my dear friends. Kesian..yang kena paksa tu, sorry la yer hahaha

Here's the pic; kinda blurry, but oh well. It's still recognisable ;) SherMoo Holmes




Here's my 2nd fav shot:


Haaa...sekian buat masa ini. :D

Budak gila

I got this e-mail from my mum (very rajin of you to forward this Ma) and I find it too hilarious to not to share with you guys! I don't know of it's true, but well, it's worth your time! Read it. You'll laugh till you die. At least, that's what this boy will say. DIE ALL!!!! Hahahaha

Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2007
Karangan budak darjah 4
Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting
Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

My reaction after reading this? What the hell is wrong with this kid?? LOL

Memang out of the box, inovatif, kritis dan kreatif and everything that's in the UiTM's visi dan misai oops, I mean misi... and hell, his imagination really did run wild!

Tapi last-last semua mati? Come on! You could do better than that kid! Write more! Hahahaha

Memang sengal. Kalau my brother si Umar write like this, I don't know what will happen to him. Mama malu, Abah tak mengaku anak. Me? "Haish..Another psycho in the family? Cukup-cukupla dengan me and si Adik je."


Morals of the story?
1. Do not speak English. Maksud saya, jangan cakap Bahasa Inggeris,nanti orang tak paham kalau kita maki hamun.
2. Pastikan ada air panas untuk persediaan mandi di pagi hari.
3. Pastikan anda melatih anak anda untuk menjadi seorang atlit jikalau tiada kenderaan, di samping mengajarnya Matematik(128 kilometer) dan Fizik(kelajuan cahaya), walhal Bahasa Melayu nya teruk.
4. Ban semua cerita kartun instead of horror movies (nak propose kat Puteri UMNO lah)
5. Kalau mak ajak pergi pasar, JANGAN ikut.
6. DILARANG menggunakan mikrofon.
7. JANGAN makan atau beli daging.
8. Kalau ada accident, jangan laporkan kepada polis. They might die.
9. Gunakan tas tangan untuk tujuan yang betul.
10. Akhir sekali, kalau dah buat salah, tak payah lah nak salam. NANTI TANGAN KENA KERAT!

Vee the hot bachelorette chotchet

Yesterday, 4th of October was the day that I first enjoyed a bachelorette party. Sebelum ni mana pernah..Tiba-tiba je dapat kad kawen. Tiba-tiba je dapat tau si polan dah engaged. Tiba-tiba je si minah dah berpunya(sejak bila ntah) and nak kawen.

So, the venue was at Redbox Sunway Pyramid (dah la aku loser gila lupa jalan nak gi sini. Ada kete pon tak guna wahaha) Park kat valet parking tapi maak aiihh..valet lagi satu pulak so still kena jalan jauh,bongek betul. Moi arrived at around 10.45am. The others ada yang dah sampai.

Leez adalah pelakon utama dalam misi Ops Tipu Vee so dia datang lambat sikit sebab dia kena fetch V at her house. Leez cerita, V was too easy. All she had to do was ajak V gi lunch and V terus cakap "lunch? ok!" hahaha

So, yang lain-lain yang dah sampai ni pun ada misi. Iaitu misi Ops Tiup Belon yang berbentuk Heart. (Belon tu kelakar bentuk dia, macam telinga Mickey Mouse pun ada, mcm boobies pun ada..oops! obscene! tutup mata kanak2!)

Oleh sebab saya mempunyai pipi yang agak kuat dan perut penuh dengan angin yang terperangkap pagi tu, jadi saya offer diri meniup belon-belon tersebut(sebenarnya memang kena paksa tiup pun ciss!)

As usual, dalam pertandingan meniup belon cenggini, pasti ada belon yg sesuka hati nak pecah sendiri..And us being girls, pastilaa "Aaaaaaahhhh!!" wahahaha gedik hell bluwekss! I tak jerit please...so not my thangg. gagaga..

Anyway, while waiting for the bride-to-be and pelakon-in-the-making, we karaoke first! Yang lawaknya, microphone ada 4, tapi yang tak pegang microphone pun sudi meminjamkan suara mereka yang tak merdu tu hahaha...So, guess all you want. I just thanked god for not making the room explode! haha

Here are the songs that we sang. Some only laa coz we sang a lot.

Britney Spears-Drive Me Crazy
I knew Dy was behind this. Britney?? Omg. This was our first song by the way.

Suasana Hari Raya-Anuar Zain & Ellina
Lagu raya haruss! Yelaa, still in raya mode kaan hahaha

Celine Dion-It's all coming back to me now
Bagai nak pecah bilik tu.. I've got a video showing my dear friend Leez sang her heart out. Or should I say, yell? hahahaha. But I don't think it was her. But someone shrieked! Kata nak ikut suara Celine kan? LOL

Just a Girl-No Doubt
It's a special song cuz the bride chose it by herself. The others? Backup dancers,lah! haha. Sorry V, you're a girl now, but you've to buckle up to be a woman in 5days!! Scary innit? I guess the song 'I'm not a girl, not yet a woman' applies here :P

Senja nan Merah-Ziana Zain & Awie
Siapa yang tau lagu ni, semua nyanyi lah. Siapa ntah yang duet ngan Dy hehe

Poker Face/Don't Cha
Woi woi woi...Budak2 ni semuanya ada bakat menari terpendam siott..They turned the room into a dance floor pulak daaahh...It was pretty dark and I was taking a video, so untuk mengagumi dan melihat dengan lebih jelas bakat2 terpendam tersebut, saya cerahkanlah bilik itu and voila! Semua jari menuding ke arah saya kerana mengkantoikan mereka! Hey, I was doing my job as a video girl.. :P But they kept on going anyway. Siap battle pulaak tak bole blah! I was not part of it, honest!!

Ada Backstreet Boys lah, N'sync lah..Gloria Gaynor's I will Survive pon got!! But...jengjengjeng...

Lagu paling epic...

Cinta Tiga Segi-Kristal
Guess who sang this? JASMINE ZULKIFLI!!! Teringat zaman-zaman dulu masa mula2 masuk UiTM, masa semuanya budak2 hingusan lagi...First time jumpa Jas, she doesn't speak Malay coz she just got back from Holland. She was transfered here lah..So, me, being a considerate human being, mula lah ajar Jas perkataan2 that she doesn't know. Pendek cerita, curses in Malay :D
So, bila Jas dah pandai nyanyi lagu Malay, it was my proudest moment. Sob sob. I'm proud of you,Jas. Welcome to Malaysia! Where people curse a lot!! Aaaanywaaayyy...

Sambung balik cerita...where the surprise began.

The Surprise
Yaya got a phone call (or maybe a text message) from Leez saying that they have arrived at the crime scene(tell you all about it later) and so we waited...and waited...satu dua lagu terpaksa di-burned and then "SURPRISE!!!" (I bet the guy who ushered them in pun terkejut bahaha)

The bride to be was overwhelmed and flattered. V ingatkan we totally forgot about her. No way, man! So anyway, lepas dah makan, dah karaoke and dah melalak, it was time for V to open up her real, special surprise present. Hahahaha let's just say that it's between her and her future husband lah. Kitorang memang tak kasi can langsung. Dah kata BACHELORETTE PARTY kaaan? Anything kinky, over the edge also count lah! Hahaha! The only hint that I can give out is that it's red, and very ooh-la-la...woot!

Lepas tu kitorang sambung nyanyi lagi..And guess what? Ada gelas pecah siott! Tak sedap kot suara diorang...Banyak teori keluar..(dah kata future lawyers, terpaksa lah buat presumptions dan assumptions dan sewaktu dengannya) Ada yang cakap teori fizik(bunyi kuat sangat jadi menyebabkan gelas tu kena heart attack) ada jugak yang cakap getaran(gelas tu bergerak mengikut rentak lagu and then decide nak suicide so die terjun meja) and macam2 lagilah..

We ended the party with the song Always by Bon Jovi. Lagu wajib karaoke..Although semua dah pancit after 3hours straight singing! Ish3..

After the party, the video girl, the best actress and the Devil's bride went to Swensen's for dessert hehehe...Those girls never learn their lessons. Tuhan kata, kalau demam, jangan makan benda sejuk,nanti lagi teruk. Ok. maybe doctor yang kata on God's behalf. ;)

All in all, we had fun. Congratulations in advance, Siti Ruvinna! From all of us!!!

Innocent, Serious, Innocent, Bluegh!!

2 days ago

Umar and I were watching Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader on channel 7e on Astro [Kenapa lah Malaysia tak buat show macam ni. Boleh aku masuk untuk dapat side income sikit. Dah lah dapat duit, dapat masuk tv, dapat menimba ilmu pulak tu(yang ni nampak sangat menipu haha)] Before I tell you the story, ingin saya ingatkan bahawa budak budak sangatlah innocent dan cute bila mereka serious. Si Umar ni pun one of the few lah.

So..the question that was being asked read, 'True or false? Only male lions have manes.'

Me: Trueeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Senang nya! Ishk. Free-free je dapat duit.
Umar: Along, manes tu apa?
Me: Manes? Manes tu yang...(masa ni tengah fikir perkataan yang sesuai) Alaa yang macam janggut kat muka dia tuu (while gesturing a circle around my face)

(Yes, I know. Kenapa tak cakap rambut je kan?)

Umar: Ohh!!!! Yang macam tudung tu eh?
*muka innocent dan serious memandang kakaknya yang tak berguna, yang about-to-laugh-hard-at-his-face-tapi-tak-jadi sebab he was serious and was waiting for a truthful answer*

Me: (tahan gelak, sambil senyum) Haaaa yelah. Yang macam tudung tu. *Dalam hati gelak macam setan*
(I knew he was referring to Alex the Lion in Madagascar. His mane really does look like a tudung kan dalam cerita tu?)

It's ok. I did not laugh at him. Instead, I grinned like an idiot while watching his innocent face again. Haha adik aku nih, pandai plak buat lawak innocent.

King of the Jungle wearing a Hijab? Dang, jatuh standard. Mana pegi dignity yang dimegah-megahkan tu nanti? hahaha. Umar...Umar..imaginasi anda sangat tinggi dan pelik tapi makes sense :)

Yesterday

Another boring day at the office, but Nina cracked me up with her stupid, dirty jokes. Contohnya: (Not for the faint hearted yea)

1. What is the similarity between mayonnaise and semen?? Haa jawab, jawab!

The other one is too dirty to be put up here. But, I laughed like a hyena, non stop for 5 minutes. (Yes, Azhani yang sengal ni pergi sebarkan joke ini kepada kakak-kakak office yang nampak je innocent tapi sebenarnya cepat tangkap)

Plus, I gave her one. Dirtier, dumber. Totally not for kids. hahaha. Memang gelak terkentut-kentut (Nina je, I didn't)

P/s. I should keep track of all these stupid jokes and compile it in one book. Then sell. Along with my kek batik. Woooo...Best. Siapa yang ada jokes, jangan lah malu nak share. Saya seorang yang bersikap terbuka. Serious. Adik, this goes out to you, especially. Aku tau kau ni lagi berfikiran kurang bersih dari aku haha

P/ss. Bestnya! Tampak colourful sungguh blog ku ini!!

Mothers can sometimes be funny

Malam kelmarin ada cerita Cuci kat tv2, but we were watching Congkak on Astro Ria. Bila iklan, kitorang tengok la Cuci..So, I assume you guys tau la kan siapa pelakon-pelakon dalam Cuci tu..Sah-sah lah Afdlin Shauki punya gang right?

So, sambil tengok, sambil mama tanya cerita tu pasal apa, and then cakap pasal size badan Afdlin and that Afdlin patut masuk The Biggest Loser (???)..kesian pakcik tu, mesti menangis kalau dia baca T_T..Tiba-tiba tv pun tunjuk si AC Mizal..Keluarlah satu suara yang bertanya, "Eh, si AC Milan tu kahwin dengan siapa ek?" *semua orang senyap sekejap; total silence* *hayball berguling di tengah padang pasir...kur kur kur* And then...BAHAHAHAHAHAHA AC MILAN!!!!! AC MIZAL LAH MA!!

Memang masing-masing gelak terbahak-bahak including Mama masa tu wakaka..adoih..At least we know that Mama knows her football :P

Dahla the day before Mama nak tanya about this one dessert but she forgot the name. She said, "Alaa..yang start dengan 'k' tuu..konikoni? konikuna?" Pastu Adik yang bijaksana ni pegi suggest pulak, "Kinokuniya ke Ma?" Ma pun "Haaa! Apa dia? Kinokuniya ye!!" Ape lagi, all three of us (including my other sister, Za Gemz) laughed tak hengat dunia laa even though tengah beraya rumah orang kan masa tu, kami peduli apa hahaha! Pastu baru lah Mama tau kenapa kitorang gelak..We told her lah Kinokuniya tu book store..kejadahnya pulak nama dessert! hahaha..Aunty Yon pun tau hahaha!

Macam mana...

...nak cantikkan blog ni??? bosan seyh...

Everybody Loves Raymond

Have you watch it? This sitcom cracks me every time. Just watched one of the episodes in Season One for the third time and man, I laughed my ass off!!

SEASON ONE : EPISODE 17

*When Ray discovers that the diamond in Debra's wedding ring is a fake, he finds a way to steal the ring so he can replace the stone, unaware that she replaced the diamond with a real one after their wedding. They fought over it once the truth comes out. Then, their daughter Ally (maybe when she was around 6 years old), came downstairs to show them a Valentine's card a friend had made her.* (It was a Valentine's day, indeed)

Ally : Look what Kenny gave me. *shows them a half heart-shaped card*
Ray and Debra : Oooh..A valentine's card..*opens it*
Ray : With a gum in it..
Ally : Kenny blow a gum into it and gave it to me.
Debra : That's so sweet! aww..Now go upstairs sweetheart, I'll be right up in just a minute.
Ray : *After Ally left* Cheap bastard.

How can you not love this show???! LOL

P/s. I love watching shows with a dysfunctional family in it :D

Pura-pura

I hate hypocrites.

They fake a lot.

But I cannot deny that sometimes, I fake things too.

Does that mean that I'm a hypocrite?



P/s. I hate those who kiss arse, too. Eeuuw, the smell..let alone the taste. LOL

Quotes of the Day + Blonde moments

Went to OU just now to attend Zizi's design show/exhibition. It was great! However, it was these moments that made me nearly died of laughter ;P

First Scene

Had late lunch at a Penang food restaurant (forgot its name). This was where it happened.

-Chelly ordered Mee Kari and offered Aloyah some.

Aloyah: Aku taknak banyak..Nak kuah je sket. *Slurps the kuah a few times*

Chelly: Kau jangan makan kuah je, nanti cetek!!!

Aloyah: Cetek??

Me: *Exchange looks with Aloyah* Kuah cetek??? Wahahahahahaha

Second Scene.

On our way back home, in the car. We passed by Giant Hypermarket Section 13 when Chelly saw a mini zoo in the compound.

Chelly: Waah..ada zoo lah! Nak tengok!

Aloyah: Ah! Kecoh la kau ni Chelly. Weyh, korang tau tak kat mana nak cari hamster murah-murah?

Me: Tu kat zoo tu takkan takde?

Aloyah: Dah pegi dah..Takde!

Then Aloyah mentioned about her housemates and their pets.

Aloyah: Nini (Or maybe Ernie,not sure) ada bawak ikan dua ekor tapi dua dua dah mati.

Me: Ya allah..Camne boleh mati?

Chelly: Kawan-kawan aku semua sebok nak bela sugar-glider lah....

Suddenly....

Aloyah: Ha! Yang tu lah! Dah mati wey! Sugar apa ntah nama dia.

*Chelly and I exchanged looks and then laughed hysterically*

Me: Sugar-Glider hidup dalam air rupanya!!!

Chelly: Sugar glider ke? Bukan sugar fish?

Me: Sugar fish pon boleh!! hahahaha

Haish...those girls....I just love being with them! :D

Direct Translasi

Alright now, so it's time to show off your knowledge people n see how good u are with my hidden talent hahaha..im gonna file this n show it to Kara Dioguardi n prove that this is wayy better than her 'tiada halangan/benteng/pemisah' (no boundaries) hahaha.. c'mon Simon,pick me! :P

pemenang akan memenangi percutian ke Pulau Perhentian selama sehari semalam. booze and condoms are not provided and security is tight. so go at your own risk. A raid is a guarantee haha.

[namakan artis dan lagu berkenaan]

1. BLAH (the easiest!)
korus: jadi keluar,(blah) sekarang..kau dan aku dah tamat
dah lambat (sekarang) dan xsabar untuk kau pergi.. kerna ku tahu
tentang dia (siapa?) dan ku tertanya (kenapa?) aku beli semua penipuan
kau kata kau akan layan aku baik, tapi kau sbnrnye buang masa (buang masa!)

2. KALAU AKU SEORANG BUDAK LELAKI
verse: kalau aku seorg budak lelaki..walau untuk sehari
golek keluar dari katil pagi2,baling ape yang aku nak dan pergi...
minum arak dengan mereka, dan kejar budak perempuan
tendang ia dgn siape2, dan xpernah kene marah untuknye
sebab mereka ada bersama..
korus: kalau aku seorang budak lelaki
aku rase aku bole paham..
perasaan mencintai seorang budak perempuan
aku bersumpah aku akan jadi lelaki lebih baik...........

3. PERFECT
bridge and chorus: don't you ever leave me
i will not be able to bear it all
only with you i will be able...
you are my blood, you are my heart
you are my life, u complete me
oh my love you are so...perfect..perfect

4. ITU BUKAN NAMA AKU
korus: mereka panggil aku neraka, mereka panggil aku Stacey
mereka panggil aku dia, mereka panggil aku Jane
tu bukan nama aku x4
mereka panggil aku budak perempuan senyap
tapi aku pemberontak..Mary Joleisa selalu sama
tu bukan nama aku x4

5. JUMP A LITTLE HIGHER
chorus: i pick the stars, for you to keep
the light is calm, gives u protection
as a reminder, also as an answer
to all the obstacles

6. PANAS DAN SEJUK
verse: kau tuka fikiran mcm budak perempuan tukar baju
yeah ngkau, PMS mcm perempuan jalang, aku tau
dan ngkau terlebih fikir, slalu ckp bnda yg aku xphm,
aku patut tau, yang kau tak berguna untuk akuuuuu....
korus: sebab kau panas pastu sejuk,
kau ye pastu tidak, kau dalam pastu keluar
kau atas pastu kau bawah, kau salah bila betul
ia hitam dan ia putih, kita gado kita putuskan hubungan,
kita cium, kita bercumbuan........

7. MANUSIA KUAT
korus: kau ubah seluruh hidupku
tak tau ape kau dah buat kepadaku dgn cintamu
ku rasa bagai manusia kuat kau buat ini kepadaku
jantung manusia kuat berdegup dlm diriku
tiada apa yang boleh menghalang ku bersamamu d sini
manusia kuat...........

8. SPECIAL
verse: there is no poet or song
there is no portrait or doubt
that could inspire me as beautiful as u are
its obvious ure one in a million
oh beautiful,you are special...

9. HAHA KAU DAH MATI
korus: haha kau dah mati,dan aku sangat gembira
dalam ingatan, kematian kau itu
bila kapal kau nak tenggelam, aku akan keluar dan bagitau seluruh bandar
haha kau dah mati x3
hahaha

10. CINTA BERDARAH
bridge and korus: tapi aku xkesah apa mereka cakap, aku mencintaimu
mereka cuba menarikku,tapi mereka taktau kebenarannya
hatiku dicacati oleh urat yang aku cuba tutup
kau belah aku dan aku..
terus berdarah,terus terus cinta berdarah
aku terus berdarah, terus terus cinta berdarah...
terus berdarah, terus terus berdarah..
kau belah aku dan aku..


*Taken from my note in Facebook :)