You and Me-Rosie Thomas

One of the most beautiful songs ever written.
It touched me deep.
Made me cry.
Almost every time I listened to it.

You and me
Me and you
There’s so much that we’ve been through
Through it all I’ve come to understand god’s love
And if tomorrow never comes
Know this twice
Just know this once
Knowing you has made me able to go on
You and me
Me and you
There couldn’t be a better two
To be blessed to know the meaning of true love
And if you leave me
I’ll feel scared
I’ll fall apart
Feel unprepared
But I’d dare to make it through all on my own
Yes I’d dare to make it through all on my own

>Dedicated to all my friends. And to that particular someone. I can't thank you enough.

There was a time when there seemed to be a happy ending

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love[repeat]

I feel as if I'm wasted
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

> Very significant.

A peek on life

Sometimes, it's hard to please people. I learned it the hard way.

Had a crappy day at work, I'm fucking tired, balik keje paling last (sebbaik Nina ada), dengar sad story from Adik..I really really feel bad for her...she's been going through a lot lately but still managed to smile in front of everyone. Wish I could be tough like her and not whining about my day or some other craps.

I just want tomorrow to be a better day.

And I definitely can't wait for the weekend to come!

By the way, gaji yang saya dapat tu, Mama dah ada plan for it. Damn, baru ingat nak shopping.

And beli hand phone baru. Or a PSP. Or Wii. Or vacay at Pulau Redang (takpelah, yang ni bole guna as grad present kuikuikui)

Ni tak. Kena bayar duit kereta(RM300), duit minyak(RM100), duit insurans(RM100). Sah sah laa habuk pon tadak after that! Kecoh je aku padahal baru kerja 2 minggu da bising pasal gaji wahaha

Thank god rumah sejengkal je dari office. Kalau takde duit, boleh makan kat rumah! sorry Nina! But you're always welcome to come! Heeee

6th day at work

Today is the first day of my second week at work.

Honestly, I'm exhausted. Piles and piles of workloads..It's never ending.

Finding files is almost impossible.

And today, I'm pissed with my boss.

Last minute work was given to me and she said she wanted it ASAP. Pukul 5 lebih baru bagi padahal kol 6 da balik kott..And trust me, this is not the first time.

It was my first time drafting a Judgment so you can guess that I took some time to familiarize myself with it before typing it all.

When it was given to me, she (the boss) explained briefly,telling me what I have to do exactly.

Maak aiihh..memanglah aku terkebil-kebil kat situ macam tenuk tak jumpa semut. Dia ingat aku dah pernah type sepuluh ribu kali ke benda tuh? Explain pun macam aku dah pro. What the hell, man?

When I looked at the sample that she asked me to cari, it was totally different. Thank god I have Lyiana my lifesaver to explain to me about it.

Then, dia pon cerita that dia pernah kena marah sebab salah buat draft. I was like, what the fuck? Explain macam taik, pastu kau expect orang dapat buat betul on the first try? You must be mad. You should teach and correct, not scold people for their mistakes.

So kitorang pon sambunglah sesi kutuk mengutuk..,eh silap. Sesi bergossip kejap and baru sambung balik discuss pasal the stupid draft.

Lyiana explained to me everything in detail and I finally managed to highlight the ones that needed clarification from my boss.

Lepas tu, saya pun pergilah bertanya kepada puan tentang perkara-perkara yang saya tidak fahami..Lalu beliau pun explain perkara-perkara yang ditanya itu and tengok-tengok, dia explain pon tak complete..banyak giler kot dia tak bagitau masa first explanation tuh. Kalau aku tak tanya, memang sampai kucing jiran sebelah beranak empat pon dia takkan bagitau..Sengal.

Masa interview hari tu bukan main lagi cakap, "Kalau you guys tak faham, tanya je sampai faham. Awak datang sini pun untuk belajar...Nanti ni semua buat masa LLb ke? Kalau macam tu, kitorang lah yang kena ajar korang ek? Hahaha. Takpe, kita kan Melayu, kena saling tolong-menolong. Siapa lagi nak tolong kita kalau bukan orang kita sendiri kan?"

and like people would say, Melayu ni selalunya bodoh sombong. Kalau tak tau, tak nak tanya. Buat-buat pandai je semua.

So puan, kalau nak ajar tu kena lah ikhlas. Kami ni masih lagi belajar. Kalau cincai je macam tu, kang kerja saya pon cincai je lah. Tapi puan sah-sah lah takkan marah saya cincai-cincai kan? mesti saya kena kaw-kaw punya maki hamun kan kan?

Anyhow, when i was typing, she regularly attended my desk and asked me whether I've done typing or not cuz she wanted to see it right away. Aku pun type laa macam orang gila, cepat nak mampus, pastu laptop bangang tu pulak buat hal, time tu jugak nak hang cam pungkok, functions pun lain so kena ubah-ubah..Nasib baik Kak Yam ada menyelamatkan dunia.

Oh, did I tell you? While I was doing my work, she gave me another file and said "Ni pun tolong buat draft. saya nak cepat." It turned out, those 2 files are due on Thursday and Friday respectively. You see? How great my day was?

By the way, after I've printed out the draft, I searched for puan but couldn't find her anywhere.

"Mana puan? Dia dah balik ke?"
"Ha ah."
"Dua dua? Puan Zainab pun?"
"Yup."

You see eh, tadi dia cakap nak cepat. Aku pun bertungkus lumus siapkan the fucking draft and bila dah siap, tengok tengok she's gone home. Macam cibai tak? Memang menyusahkan aku tau tak? Kalau aku tau, aku balik je kot and sambung esok. Tak payah rushing. Memang tadi rasa cam bagi makan selipar je.

I was soo pissed I half screamed in the office. Serious shit. Aku ingat lawyer kap lam ya nga je cakap putar belit. Melayu pun sama!!

Damn..I've to deal with this for another 3 months ke? Baik laa aku kerja kutip telur penyu kat Melaka lagi best.

Quotes of the Day + Blonde moments

Went to OU just now to attend Zizi's design show/exhibition. It was great! However, it was these moments that made me nearly died of laughter ;P

First Scene

Had late lunch at a Penang food restaurant (forgot its name). This was where it happened.

-Chelly ordered Mee Kari and offered Aloyah some.

Aloyah: Aku taknak banyak..Nak kuah je sket. *Slurps the kuah a few times*

Chelly: Kau jangan makan kuah je, nanti cetek!!!

Aloyah: Cetek??

Me: *Exchange looks with Aloyah* Kuah cetek??? Wahahahahahaha

Second Scene.

On our way back home, in the car. We passed by Giant Hypermarket Section 13 when Chelly saw a mini zoo in the compound.

Chelly: Waah..ada zoo lah! Nak tengok!

Aloyah: Ah! Kecoh la kau ni Chelly. Weyh, korang tau tak kat mana nak cari hamster murah-murah?

Me: Tu kat zoo tu takkan takde?

Aloyah: Dah pegi dah..Takde!

Then Aloyah mentioned about her housemates and their pets.

Aloyah: Nini (Or maybe Ernie,not sure) ada bawak ikan dua ekor tapi dua dua dah mati.

Me: Ya allah..Camne boleh mati?

Chelly: Kawan-kawan aku semua sebok nak bela sugar-glider lah....

Suddenly....

Aloyah: Ha! Yang tu lah! Dah mati wey! Sugar apa ntah nama dia.

*Chelly and I exchanged looks and then laughed hysterically*

Me: Sugar-Glider hidup dalam air rupanya!!!

Chelly: Sugar glider ke? Bukan sugar fish?

Me: Sugar fish pon boleh!! hahahaha

Haish...those girls....I just love being with them! :D

Direct Translasi

Alright now, so it's time to show off your knowledge people n see how good u are with my hidden talent hahaha..im gonna file this n show it to Kara Dioguardi n prove that this is wayy better than her 'tiada halangan/benteng/pemisah' (no boundaries) hahaha.. c'mon Simon,pick me! :P

pemenang akan memenangi percutian ke Pulau Perhentian selama sehari semalam. booze and condoms are not provided and security is tight. so go at your own risk. A raid is a guarantee haha.

[namakan artis dan lagu berkenaan]

1. BLAH (the easiest!)
korus: jadi keluar,(blah) sekarang..kau dan aku dah tamat
dah lambat (sekarang) dan xsabar untuk kau pergi.. kerna ku tahu
tentang dia (siapa?) dan ku tertanya (kenapa?) aku beli semua penipuan
kau kata kau akan layan aku baik, tapi kau sbnrnye buang masa (buang masa!)

2. KALAU AKU SEORANG BUDAK LELAKI
verse: kalau aku seorg budak lelaki..walau untuk sehari
golek keluar dari katil pagi2,baling ape yang aku nak dan pergi...
minum arak dengan mereka, dan kejar budak perempuan
tendang ia dgn siape2, dan xpernah kene marah untuknye
sebab mereka ada bersama..
korus: kalau aku seorang budak lelaki
aku rase aku bole paham..
perasaan mencintai seorang budak perempuan
aku bersumpah aku akan jadi lelaki lebih baik...........

3. PERFECT
bridge and chorus: don't you ever leave me
i will not be able to bear it all
only with you i will be able...
you are my blood, you are my heart
you are my life, u complete me
oh my love you are so...perfect..perfect

4. ITU BUKAN NAMA AKU
korus: mereka panggil aku neraka, mereka panggil aku Stacey
mereka panggil aku dia, mereka panggil aku Jane
tu bukan nama aku x4
mereka panggil aku budak perempuan senyap
tapi aku pemberontak..Mary Joleisa selalu sama
tu bukan nama aku x4

5. JUMP A LITTLE HIGHER
chorus: i pick the stars, for you to keep
the light is calm, gives u protection
as a reminder, also as an answer
to all the obstacles

6. PANAS DAN SEJUK
verse: kau tuka fikiran mcm budak perempuan tukar baju
yeah ngkau, PMS mcm perempuan jalang, aku tau
dan ngkau terlebih fikir, slalu ckp bnda yg aku xphm,
aku patut tau, yang kau tak berguna untuk akuuuuu....
korus: sebab kau panas pastu sejuk,
kau ye pastu tidak, kau dalam pastu keluar
kau atas pastu kau bawah, kau salah bila betul
ia hitam dan ia putih, kita gado kita putuskan hubungan,
kita cium, kita bercumbuan........

7. MANUSIA KUAT
korus: kau ubah seluruh hidupku
tak tau ape kau dah buat kepadaku dgn cintamu
ku rasa bagai manusia kuat kau buat ini kepadaku
jantung manusia kuat berdegup dlm diriku
tiada apa yang boleh menghalang ku bersamamu d sini
manusia kuat...........

8. SPECIAL
verse: there is no poet or song
there is no portrait or doubt
that could inspire me as beautiful as u are
its obvious ure one in a million
oh beautiful,you are special...

9. HAHA KAU DAH MATI
korus: haha kau dah mati,dan aku sangat gembira
dalam ingatan, kematian kau itu
bila kapal kau nak tenggelam, aku akan keluar dan bagitau seluruh bandar
haha kau dah mati x3
hahaha

10. CINTA BERDARAH
bridge and korus: tapi aku xkesah apa mereka cakap, aku mencintaimu
mereka cuba menarikku,tapi mereka taktau kebenarannya
hatiku dicacati oleh urat yang aku cuba tutup
kau belah aku dan aku..
terus berdarah,terus terus cinta berdarah
aku terus berdarah, terus terus cinta berdarah...
terus berdarah, terus terus berdarah..
kau belah aku dan aku..


*Taken from my note in Facebook :)

MJ fever

Mama is still mad over Michael Jackson. Macam tak boleh terima kenyataan that he had died.

Haritu beli cds and vcds of MJ. Then pasang malam malam. Then sing along. Haishh..Takde can tengok tv.

Yesterday she asked me to buy Passions mag tribute to MJ. Well, she got what she wanted, plus, a free poster of the King of Pop!! Mesti mama happy la tu.

While she was browsing through the mag, dia dok bebel about how some people were cruel, tak nak let him die peacefully by creating stupid rumours about his death..that he's not actually dead, he's somewhere..Agent dia bawak lari.. -_-"""" Something about Neverland..How good he was on stage.."patutlah tiket konsert dia semua laku. Memang terer betul die menari and menyanyi semua. Dahsyat betul MJ nih.."yada yada..yoda yoda..

Wah! suddenly she knows everything! Lol..

Despite all these, he will forever be in our hearts. He will be missed by the world. Rest in peace, MJ.

Umar's words

I just recalled some of Umar's few, priceless words and sentences while watching him listening to zikir on tv,(it is khamis mlm jumaat) where mama was upstairs watching Michael Jackson's music videos hahaha oops. Reminisce zaman die kecik-kecik..since tak sedar how big he has grown.

So these are some that I remembered:-

1. He heard his Angah mentioned about 'makanan'(food) so he asked, "Makanan ke Makiri?"

He actually thought that she was referring to right(kanan) and left(kiri)hahaha soo innocent la ini budak..

2. The other one was when he was asked what is 'dahi'(forehead) in English. When he was told that the answer was indeed forehead, he asked again "forehead ke forenine?"

Budak ni clearly dah confuse 'eight' dengan 'head'. So, kalau fore'eight' ada, fore'nine' mestilah ada jugak hahaha.

3. When he was around 3 or 4, he referred 'demam' as 'damuman'. Yeah3 so much for baby talk ;P

4. There was this one time when he heard someone said 'minggu depan'. Then he suddenly asked, "minggu belakang?" bahahaha seriously those words cracked me up everytime.

Umar oh Umar. Along saaayang Umar. Janganlah selalu marah-marah okay? Nanti tak nak belikan kipas!(Kipas is like his second god or something) Dewa kipas si Umar ni.

He is now 9. And still adorable :) The only boy and the youngest. And yes, sangat sangat teramat manja. Hello, baru 9 years old dah ada handphone! Along pun dapat after SPM. Bluegh. Keji betul. Haha

Batting Cage..

There's something about it. No, not Mary. It. The batting cage in One Utama Shopping mall? If you live in Malaysia, you'll know exactly what it is and what I'm talking about.

I somehow find myself eager to go there especially when I'm tensed. Bila nak release tension about something. Like for an instance..exams? Or someone you dislike? (I don't wanna use the word hate here cause there's a difference between those two haha) Before I hit the ball, I aim for something. Or someone. Depends on the circumstances. And most of the time, I aimed right. Scored a few home runs. Weehoo!

So yeah. It's fun and cheap. More enjoyable when you play with your friends. Sometimes if you're lucky, you'll find cute guys,too. Including the mat salehs haha. It's one of my way to relief stress.

But unfortunately, even though I've gone to this place sooooo many times, I still can't remember the route and directions hahaha! Yeah, yeah. I know and I admit it. I suck on the road. I can drive, but please..don't ask me about directions. I'm hopeless. Dangg, there goes my application on The Amazing Race Asia. Certainly not qualified, huh? :P What the heck. I have friends who love me. They'll drive me there. Kan korang?? :D

From daughter to mother with love.

Dear Ma,
I know it's not Mother's Day but why wait for that special day to come just to say this to you right? And besides, I haven't started blogging back then hehe. Anyway, Im writing you this because I dont know how else to express it.Im sorry for everything. I know I haven't been a good daughter like u wanted me to be, Im not a straight -A law student that Im supposed to be, I do not excel in my studies, irresponsible as your eldest daughter and I keep letting you down day by day. I know you have sacrificed so much for all of us, for the entire family and Im just hoping that Allah would one day give me a chance to repay your kindness, hardwork and all those sacrifices you've made in the future.

I just want you to know that you are truly a remarkable mother and a wonderful person. You're wonder woman. Superwoman. Nobody could replace you. I know it's a bit awkward that I come out and say this out of the blue, but it's from the bottom of my heart. I don't want to be like one of those girls yang tak kenang budi parents. So now, I just wanna say thank you for everything. Even though luck has not been on my side for the past few months, and that Ive been stressing out lately(which I didn't wanna show), I wanna thank you and I will try my best to fix my life for the sake of my own future.

Going to Puan Saudah was a mistake (lol). Patutnya tak payah jumpa pun.

For all the mistakes that I did, Im sorry. Im here to tell you that your daughters love you. Thank you for everything ma. Words fail me. But thank you. Love you, Ma.

Btw, I have to email this to you because Im pretty sure you don't know what blogspot is ;)

Kickstart itu Life

So the month of July has kicked in. I wonder what more could a month brings to you. I soo hope it won't be the same like the previous months. hehe..
Im hoping for wonders. Miracles. Peace. Money (lots of it). Good health. My own space. And last but not least, a JOB. Saya perlu mencari kerja untuk menyara diri. duduk di rumah sangatlah stressful. Asyik kena marah je (oops). Friends have started their new term. I need to start mine.

Oh btw, saya kempunan cheese cakes :(

New Start, New Hairstyle ;)

So i cut my hair again. After letting it grew long. In fact, the longest as far as I can remember.

As i expected, my friends were against it. hahaha..It was rly funny watching their expressions when I told them.

Relax la korang..Nanti tumbuh laa balik..It's not like Im going bald pon hahaha

So since I want to restart myself, Ive to start with something right?

Potong rambut seemed like a brilliant idea. I got my old hair style back. I love it ;)

This could be a start to something new. (Soo HSM) lol

There's always a first time.

wah! so it's my first time blogging and i can't wait to see where this could go haha.

So anyway, it's unfortunate to know that Im dealing with one of the hardest days ever. In my very first writing.
Today..I've been thinking..

It's hard to face the reality. Especially when everyone's in it. I took it the hard way. And Im not sure if I'll be able to pull myself together again. I wanna be like the Terminator. I want to self-destruct. Or be destructed. But I was wondering whether I could stand up again and face it all. I want to be reserved this time. Will that be possible? All my life, I make other people happy. But how could I deal with myself when Im the one who needs the saving?

I know it's not good but a girl needs her own time and space sometimes. A friend sent me a message on FB asking me to smile like this--> =D For the time being, i feel like it is highly impossible. but, I know that I can go through this. It's just another phase of life. I took the wrong turn, the one that is dark,pitch black. But I hope that I can find my way home in no time. I hope.

Family has been great, but they have their own hassles to deal with,too.

Friends couldn't have been anymore helpful, but they can't do anything bout me at the moment.

Yang boleh tolong = Slims, Rico & Shaggy and those guys from Whose line. hehe

Anyways, to all who are reading this, don't worry. I just need a peace of mind, a pinch of self-assurance and a fist of self-belief. I'll be just fine.